I used to spend time during the summers with my brother and sister-in-law back when I was in high school. There was one summer that will always be one of my favorite memories with them. I stayed about 2 months and I got to spend some really special time with my niece as she was growing up. This was back when my sweet niece, Lucy, was still being rocked to sleep and learning how to talk. Every time she went to sleep there was a CD by Plumb that Paula-Beth had for Lucy to listen to. Over that summer I rocked Lucy to sleep countless times and grew to love that CD. At first, every time I listened to it, it reminded me of the love Paula-Beth and Michael had for Lucy. They were my inspiration growing up and really they are the reason I started dreaming of one day being a parent. I got to watch them raise this precious girl and I was lucky enough to lend a hand every once in a while.
Later on, I started picturing my love for my future children when listening to the CD. Me and Joey have known we've wanted children from the very start of our relationship. I remember a time when we were only together a couple of months and we talked about parenting and how excited we were to have kids in the future. We thought it would be so easy.
Now, today, I listen to this album and hear God speaking to me. I am not in an area of strength...
Many people don't know this, but the last time I was pregnant I bled heavily for about 1 month before they told me there was no heartbeat and I had to have a D&C. My levels were still going up and it looked like a normal pregnancy aside from the bleeding. Along with that I had extreme morning sickness which was actually all day sickness. I threw up so much that I injured my back and had red dots all over my face from popping blood vessels. I could not eat hardly anything.
I am experiencing the beginnings of similar symptoms. I am so weak both physically and mentally.
I do not question the future for God has a plan. But, I have no idea what this path holds and I need prayer for me and Joey.
I appreciate every single person who has prayed for us and helped us. Thank you so much. We have such a wonderful support system.
"Clouds will rage and storms will race in, but you will be safe in my arms."
These are the words from the song In My Arms by Plumb that keep me going. I know I'm in God's arms. I know He is protecting me and I know if we do miscarry that He will hold me tight.
