Looking Back. . .

I know many of you have read my last blog and I don't expect anyone to read it again, but it seems appropriate to look back to it today.  Today is miss Emery Hope's estimated due date.  Thinking back to July a lot has happened and a lot has changed.  Where a lot of couples grow apart, me and Joey have grown closer than we ever imagined.  Our personal relationships with Christ have been strengthened and we are seeing Christ more and more in each other every day. 

It has not been easy.  We both have struggled greatly with what feels like PTSD.  I have dreams which are incredible about Emery, but I also have nightmares.  Which are awful.  Joey has been in constant fear of me passing out and dying, because I passed out with my eyes open and stopped breathing after we got home from the hospital.  Some things can be hard to move past.  We have seen amazing hope and healing though.  It gets easier everyday.  Many of you know how passionate about Young Living oils I am.  They have helped us so much.  Joey is using a kit to help people with PTSD and it has helped him be truly happy again, even when there are bad days.  And I have been using the oil, Acceptance, every day and I can't fully express how wonderful it is and how much it has helped me.  God has been able to use these oils to heal us.  I am so beyond grateful for that. 

We think of Emery and talk of Emery daily.  She has changed our lives. We felt what true love at first sight feels like when we laid eyes on her.  We love each of our children, but Emery was the first we actually were able to see and hold.  It is a priceless memory.

I think God likes to show us things in our dreams to comfort us sometimes.  I haven't told many people this, but when I got home I would have dreams all the time about Emery being a full term baby.  One of the dreams she was in a place where I remember seeing streets of gold which would be heaven.  It was the most amazing sight a mother could ever see.

I take great comfort in knowing all three of our children are surrounded by loved ones on streets of gold.  It's so crazy to think about how if we hadn't have ever miscarried we would have a two year old, a one year old, and a newborn right now.  Our lives would be so vastly different. 

Me and Joey would like to thank each and every person who has walked this road with us. And we ask that you pray for the couples out there going through the same trials in life.  And pray that they see the love of Christ shower over them when they turn to Him in their troubled times.  God can comfort us and heal us and give us a purpose through our troubles. He is the path to true healing.  He does not cause our sadness, but will bring good out of the bad if we let Him. God truly has brought joy to our lives in seeing how much Emery has blessed others. 

^"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."  Jeremiah 29:11 NLT