Sunday, October 4, 2015

Growing through the grief...

It is October which means it is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness month.  1 in 4 women experience this awful loss.  I'm 4 days in and I haven't made a post yet.  This is because I haven't really known what to say until tonight.

I'm in an interesting circumstance I guess.  While it is such an important month and I would love nothing more than to bond and cry and spread awareness with my fellow angel baby mommas.... Something greater is happening this month.  My best friend is due literally any day now.  She is now overdue and the waiting game is killer!

I promise you I will cry a lot after this child is born. But, not sad tears. These are totally tears of joy.  This child... this gorgeous and beautiful baby girl... is being born. I want all of us angel baby mommas to think about this for a moment.   

I am speaking directly to all the women who have been in my shoes.  This is a really hard topic for us.  Babies. They are everywhere.  When you lose a baby or even after you experience any sort of infertility you become so much more aware of all the pregnant women and newborn babies around.  It's hard to talk about them.  It's hard to look at them.  You avoid all those hospital visits to meet a new baby.  Sometimes you even avoid social media all together!  Some of you may not have gone through this and all the power to ya!  But... sadly, the majority of us have to go through something like this to even be able to function properly.  It is important to grieve.  But, I really want some of you to start trying to look at things from a different perspective.  

Many of these new mothers may have experienced the same stuff... be happy for them because someday... you may be there too!! On the other hand some of them have never experienced anything even close to losing a baby.... don't be jealous or frustrated that everyone is getting "dealt a better hand."  Instead, be joyful that there is a mother that gets to take her little one home.  Be thankful she doesn't have to endure the pain of loss.  I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Any day now I am going to go to a hospital with my best friend. I'm going to cheer her on and pray for her through an incredible and beautiful birth. I'm going to be happy for her and I am going to be so extremely proud of her strength.  I'm going to celebrate and rejoice for the blessing that Aria is.  And I am going to hold that baby girl and not feel sad for myself.  I may have baby fever to the max by the time I get home.  But, I refuse to be sad about such a joyful day.  

One last thing to my fellow angel baby mommas.... You are some of the strongest women I know.  I pray for you daily.  I feel blessed to know our little ones are in heaven playing together.  If you ever feel alone or lost please message me.  I'm always here to talk or just listen.  Grieve at your own pace, but don't stay at a stand still.  Grow through the grief.  And remember... God will strengthen you.  I love you ladies! 

"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with My righteous right hand."  Isaiah 41:10