Monday, May 15, 2017

HG is NOT morning sickness!

Today is HG awareness day. This day represents the disease that turned my whole world upside down. Nothing has tested my strength like this disease. Nothing has damaged me like this disease. In my second pregnancy I miscarried at 9 weeks. I only had HG for about 4 weeks. In that 4 weeks I vomited countless times and lost 10 pounds. I threw my back out so bad that for the next year I was battling pain and could barely walk, sit, or lay down on my own. To this day I still struggle with intense back pain from that injury. In my third pregnancy, with Emery, I was hospitalized and on 6 different meds that caused me to sleep almost constantly. Those same meds made me shaky and miserable. I lost over 20 pounds bringing me to weigh 90 pounds. I was a stick. I remember having to have Joey pull the car over on the way to urgent care daily for me to throw up. It was humiliating. This last pregnancy, I had the best medical care, but it was so very difficult to keep going some days. I lost almost 20 pounds. It was difficult to smile many days because I was so weak. I am very thankful for the steroids and my picc line because they got me to be able to eat again even if it was just tater tots for a couple months. HG has robbed me of a normal pregnancy with normal complaints. I can't smell peppermint because it reminds me of being sick. I cant even play the sims cause I did that so much while sick that it has become a trigger and makes me feel nauseous. I can't get pregnant again because I can't handle the damage it does to my body. But, I still won. I got my precious rainbow baby. And he is so worth it. I look at him and I am constantly reminded of how strong I am to go through something so horrific. HG may be hell and it has so many horrible memories. But, it brought me my child and it connected me to so many other strong women. My life is forever changed by it in so many ways.